My birthday was celebrated last month with the most sumptuous chocolate cake and man, then a trip to one of the loveliest parts of the country, I’m grateful. In the midst of the mooing cows and calm of the biggest natural lake I began to think about 10 years ago when I moved to another country to start a life – one I didn’t have much plans for. But I’ve learned loads along the way and would like to say a few things to those just embarking on that journey.
A letter to myself 18-23
How are you, did you know you are all that and more…you really are, you have wisdom beyond your years but don’t drink your own kool-aid :). These are a few things you will find useful for life now and ahead
- Give yourself to prayer, about every single thing, your community, your family, your schooling, your future…everything
- I know you are are still questioning what is means to be Christian, don’t stop…an answer will come
- Pray for Godly women to come into your life who can guide you around what it means to be a woman today. I’m sorry you didn’t get such guidance growing up, it’s not too late and you sorely need it.
- Pray for healing and forgive, don’t let bitterness thrive in your heart
- Drop the arrogance of youth, you don’t have all the time in the world, do what needs doing today.
- Ask God to teach you practically what it means to love, remove your eyes from yourself, seek community and practice love there.
- Again, you are searching for an identity that makes sense, the tools are ok (MBTI etc) but don’t get lost in them, your identity should be grounded in Christ.
- Learn about God’s great design for marriage and family. Savour it.
- I know you aren’t sure about marriage and family right now, and your feelings haven’t even been turned on but pray for wisdom and discernment to choose right. ( Desire to be with a man that does God’s will, every other thing can be learned over time – Proverbs 24:1)
- Learn about your female body, your hormones, your cycle, it’s fascinating
- Read good Christian books like Hughes’ Disciplines of a Godly woman, Keller’s Meaning of Marriage. Listen to Podcasts.
- Immerse yourself in God’s words, be cautious about what you consume in terms of advice, lots of toxic things on google
- Take care of your health, eat right/exercise
- Travel if you can, get some skill in cooking, decorating, diying etc
- Let go, you can’t force someone to love you in the right way, also love is not “I’ll do for you what you’ve done for me”
- Your curiosity is one of your strong points, but it must have boundaries
- Giving in to someones/your sexual needs/demands will only leave you worse of, racked with guilt and they are still likely to find someone else. God really does want to save you and your future spouse the heartache of intimacy outside true commitment. Sexual expression outside of a real life commitment has no gain.
- Learn contentment in Christ
- Don’t take up any old job, pick up something where you can learn the ropes and get to try a wide number of things.
No matter what you will be fine because you have a Father who never sleeps nor slumbers, One who loves you fiercely and has gone to the depths of death to bring you home.
“For God so loved the world that He gave His and only Son, so that everyone who trusts in Him will not die but will have an eternal life”
I love you.